The Struggles of World Domination
by NyanWolf
Summary: What do villains like Goblin and Doc Doom do in their spare time? When they aren't getting beat up by Spiderman and aren't committing crimes? Who knows! Maybe you and Doc Ock share a favorite hobby! Read to find out...
1. Doctor Doom Defeated

**Something tells me I'm going to enjoy writing these.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own any marvel characters, only my Ocs**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1:<span> Those Father Daughter Moments<span>**

"Daddy! Daddy Daddy Daddy Daddy!" A little girl with long strawberry-blond pigtails came running through the stone corridors. She had bright blue eyes and dimples. Her outfit consisted of a white tank top under a magenta jacket. She had a sparkly, scarlet skirt over light pink tights and a sparkly, hot pink headband.

"what is it darling?" Doctor Doom asked in concern, getting up from his desk where he was working on his latest project.

"I want a puppy! I want a puppy now!" She screeched.

"How many times has daddy told you Missy? A puppy would just make messes and-"

"I want a puppy NOW!" Somewhere, Doctor Doom swore he heard glass shattering.

"How about I make you a cake, or some ice cream or play dollies or-"

"You don't love me!"

"Yes daddy does. Now just let me finish my project and-"

"I'll scream," She threatened.

"No no, don't scream," He held up his armored hands.

"Aaaahhhhh!" More glass could be heard breaking, "ahhh- ooh shiny!" Missy abruptly stopped screaming. She was looking at a large red button on her daddy's desk.

"No no no no! How about I get you a puppy! You still want that puppy don't you?" Doctor Doom tried lifting her but she grabbed his desk and didn't let go until he released her.

"What does it do?" She demanded.

"Well I can't really tell you, but if you press it daddy will be very upset at you and-" He cut off as she jabbed her finger onto the button.

"Oops!" She giggled. A flat screen lowered down from a wall and showed outer space. It zoomed in on Pluto, which seemed to be glowing. In seconds, it blew into smithereens. Doctor Doom was staring at the screen speechlessly and a recording of his voice rang out.

"You will fear the mighty Doom!" Missy giggled and skipped out of the room. And so the almighty Doom did the only thing one can do in this situation. He face-palmed.

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><p><strong> Aww! Doesn't Missy sound like a perfect little angel...yeah I didn't think so either. Anyway, review what villain you want me to do next and maybe you could come up with your own scene idea for me to write. Anyway...<strong>

**Wolf out...**


	2. Group Tensions

**Hey guys, people seem to review on this story faster than my other stories, so I'll keep it up!**

**Reviewers-**

**Queen Sissy: Thanks for the suggestion! I will totally use your idea in the next chapter!**

**Kindness to Everyone and Thing: I have a feeling you'll like this chapter, as it has a certain Asgardian villain!  
><strong>

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own marvel characters or the game mentioned below.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: Idiotic Mortals<strong>

**Nobody's pov**

In a storage warehouse resting on the docks, slightly muffled voices could be heard by the passerby. Inside, four of the most notorious villains: Green Goblin, Dock Ock, Electro, and Loki, were huddled over a table. They were, simply put, playing a game. But it was a game that required intense focus, extreme patience, and high strategic skill.

"Do you want to buy a property Norman?" Loki asked.

"Hmm, in order for my industry to profit reasonably from your plastic pawns, I need to know the population and rate of consumerism, and the probability of your cars landing on the green square..." Goblin rubbed his chin.

"Please Norman, you need to consider the amount of sewer systems and young test subjects," Doc Ock scoffed.

"Profit!" Norman stood up.

"Science!" Doc Ock used his tentacles to rise up higher.

"It is just a game! Now buy the property or don't! Honestly! Children play this game all the time without any issues, Monopoly!" Loki yelled. Norman and Ock sat back down, glaring at each other.

"I don't want it," Norman muttered.

"My turn," Electro grabbed the dice, rolled a two, and landed on a chance space. "Ooh! Looks like my luck is changing boys!" He said. Then, he picked up a card and read aloud.

"Pay two dollars to see the firework display... are you kidding me? I don't want to see a firework display! I am a firework display!" He burnt the chance card to a crisp. The others laughed at him, then realized he was serious. He completely refused to pay. They all began arguing again. Finally Loki huffed:

"Why do I bother playing with you idiotic mortals!" This set off even harsher arguing. While they were screaming at each other, as monopoly pieces, money, and cards flew all over, five very amused teens were watching through a crack in the door.

"See, I told you. Every other Wednesday!" Spiderman told his team.

"Sweet Christmas!" Powerman shook his head grinning.

"Didn't Fury say to apprehend them if we find them?" White Tiger asked, hands on her hips.

"They're not hurting anyone," Iron Fist shrugged.

"Except their dignity! This is so going on YouTube!" Nova pulled out his phone. They saw Loki turn Goblin turn into a green duck. Doc Ock was electrocuted by Electro.

"That's gonna leave a mark," Spiderman started. A ripped off metal tentacle flew through the window, "Or two." The team cringed. Nova summed it up in one word.

"Awesome!"


	3. Goblins and Science Projects Don't Mix

**This chapter actually has two endings, which won't usually happen, but I felt I had to for this.**

**DISCLAIMER****: I don't own U.S.M nor this story idea except the ending. The main story idea with goblin was by Queen Sissy. Harry's project was mine.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3: <span>Caution Fragile!<span>**

Norman-now the Green Goblin-watched his son Harry through a telescope in an abandoned apartment building. Sometimes he missed him. He watched Harry struggle with a chemistry project. Goblin was getting annoyed at how _wrong_ the process was. Maybe it wouldn't hurt if he just nudged him in the right direction.

That night, Goblin snuck into the Oscorp building and into the laboratory, where Harry's project lay, unfinished.

"Alright now if I just combine this chemical with-" Goblin winced as the small vial slipped from his clumsy, thick fingers. Nothing stirred.

"Ok, well I could just substitute that with-" He went to pick up another bottle and it shattered in his hand. The thick chemical splashed into his eyes.

"Grr!" Goblin suppressed a scream. He bumped into a table and sent its contents breaking and spilling on the floor. Finally he grabbed a towel and rubbed his eyes. He took a deep breath and stared at the project, clenching and unclenching his fingers and narrowing his eyes.

"Right, it's just you and me, you and me..." He began slowly walking towards it. He kept repeating himself in that kind of voice that people use when they are going insane due to-for example- a rubix cube or a science project. Goblin grabbed some powder and gently tried to rip the bag open and it ripped into halves, the powder piling onto the floor. Next he tried using a pipette to squeeze exactly _one _drop of water into another beaker and squeezed all of the water out. The water fell into the hot acid-like chemical creating thick smoky fog.

"Oh for crying out loud!" He raged, and broke several more beakers in his attempt to wave the fog away from him.

"Never mind!" He roared and went to fetch a mop and broom, both of which were made of flimsy wood and broke immediately. Goblin threw the broken cleaning supplies down and walked back to the door. On his way, he slipped on some glass and was propelled, face-first, into the metal Oscorp door. He tore the door off its hinges and continued to limp through the building (stopping by the medical ward to grab a Band-Aid, which happened to have a smiling kitten printed on it) and made his exit with as much dignity as he could muster. Unfortunately, while he forgot about his own security cameras the press didn't. And for the next week, J. Jonah. Jameson had something other than Spiderman to report-and laugh-about.

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><p><strong>Nicer ending-<strong>

He made his exit with as much dignity as he could muster. In the morning, while the police investigated the wreckage and debris, Harry walked down to get his project. He saw that it looked worse than it had the previous night. He smiled, thinking of all the times that his dad had tried to fix-up (completely alter) his school projects when he was younger. He felt his spirits lift, and as he sat in his limo, staring at the mangled project he was going to get an F on, he whispered.

"Thanks dad."

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><p><strong>There you go, sorry I took forever to update and thanks again to Queen Sissy. Anyway...<strong>

**Wolf out...**


	4. Taskmaster's Phase

**This is my favorite chapter so far so I hope you guys like it! I'm not sure what Tasky's real name is, so I made one up. None of this is canon, unless I had some lucky guesses.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own U.S.M or the song**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4: <span>Nigie-Wigie<span>**

Danny was in the park one day, meditating with his head phones. Suddenly, his keen ears heard something from a nearby building. It sounded like grunting and yelps of pain and frustration. He ran over to another building, ducked into an alley and changed into his Iron Fist costume. He went back to the building from which the noises were coming and heard energetic pop music. Iron Fist started laughing when he recognized the song.

"Nuh nuh nuh nuh-uh! You don't know your beautiful! Uh-huh! That's what makes you beautiful! Nuh nuh nuh!" Inside, someone was singing along and humming the parts she didn't know. The room had blue-painted walls, and indigo mats were lying on the floor and there was a TV in front of them. Inside, Taskmaster was standing on one mat. He was wearing baby blue legwarmers over his armor. He appeared to be copying yoga poses from the TV. Next to him, an elderly lady was doing the same.

"And one and two and three and four! And one and two and three and four!" She went through the motions expertly. Taskmaster sighed more than once and reluctantly followed the TV instructions, occasionally grunting at painful positions.

"I should be planning the destruction of S.H.E.I.L.D!" He snapped. The lady waved a hand.

"You're lucky I let you wear that stupid armor in public Nigel. Not to mention, you spend all your time locked up in your lab, doing who-knows-what! Maybe one day you'll grow out of this phase of yours!" She huffed.

"It's not a phase Mother," He mumbled.

"What did you call me!" She asked sternly.

"Nothing," He looked down, she stared at him from her pretzel position, waiting.

"Nothing...mommy..." He tried again. She nodded.

"Good! Now lift those legs Nigie-Wigie! Lift!" She exclaimed happily. And he did as he was told. Outside Danny was choking from trying not to laugh. He used the camera app on his communicator to record "Nigie-Wigie." Danny wasn't normally one to resort to electronics to amuse himself, but this, was an obvious exception.

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><p><strong>I only used the song for comical purposes, I don't personally like the song very much. But to each hisher own. Also, thanks to IronFistRocks for the suggestion, I'll totally use it for the next chap. Anyway...**

**Wolf out...**


	5. Ock's Prank

**Don't you love those moments when you realize your wool sweater has been made wrong?**

**DISCALIMER: I still own nothing...yay...**

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><p><strong>Chapter 5: <span>Cat Fishing <span>**

"Otto? What are you doing?" Norman walked into Doc Ock's lab. He was currently using his tentacles to knit a sweater. It was pink and small and seemed to have three sleeves. He looked up and abruptly rose up, trying to hide the "sweater," Behind his back.

"Just a new hobby I'm trying Norman," He chuckled nervously. Norman looked at him, and shook his head.

"I wonder about you sometimes Otto," He sighed. Doc Ock lowered his head.

"Yes well, I don't need to explain myself to you. Now tell me what your newest plan is," Dock Ock mumbled.

"Just build this," Norman shoved some blueprints into Ock's tentacles. He walked back out of the large room and Doc Ock got to work. It was a simple machine. It was basically an add-on to the main computer that would allow it to process more complex commands and formulas. He finished and took out some newspaper clippings. One recent one read:

**Cat shelter going out of business! All cats under $1.00!**

Doc Ock saw the number for the shelter. He typed it into the computer and called.

"Hello?" a woman's voice answered.

"Yes, hello. I was calling about your shelter, I want to purchase a few cats."

"Really!" The woman sounded delighted, "Well you can call me Debbie. We have all kinds of cats: Siamese, shorthair, Persian...how many did you say you wanted?"

"I'll take...all of them," He smiled as Debbie put him on hold to tell her husband, Tom, the news. He heard her squealing and shouting. Ock grinned wider when he thought of his plans, a small prank couldn't hurt right? Besides, Norman deserved it. Ock laughed as he settled the delivery arrangements and sat back down. He resumed his knitting, he would need a _lot _of sweaters.

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><p>When Norman walked into the lab later, he was shocked. The air reeked of tuna and liter boxes. Covering the floor, were a hundred cats of all shapes, sizes, and breeds. They all had one thing in common, they all were wearing pink, matching, three-sleeved sweaters.<p>

"OTTO!" He screamed as a kitten rubbed against his leg. But Ock was nowhere to be found. And taped to a nearby wall, was a poorly written note that read:

**Gone CAT-fishing!**

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><p><strong>Thanks to IronFistRocks for the suggestion. I love cats and Doc Ock seems like he would too...maybe...if he wasn't evil...anyway,<strong>

**Wolf out...**


	6. Not a Chapter

**Sorry for this, but The Struggles of World Domination is currently on-hold because of writer's block(I know I know, lame excuse) but it should continue in around...lets say...less than two weeks. Sorry again, but even though ****_MY_**** chapters are on-hold, you guys can still give me ****_YOUR_**** ideas to type into chapters for the time being. Anyway...**

**Wolf out...**


	7. Kraven's New Job

**Thanks to all my reviewers, this chapter is the result of a cool suggestion. R&R and enjoy!**

**Reviewers: Thanks to-I'm a Jesus Freak for the suggestion. I hope you like the chapter!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 7: <span>Rude girls and Stupid Accents <span>**

It was a beautiful Saturday morning in New York. Everyone was happy, especially a little girl pulling her mom into a pet store. They walked in and the small girl squealed at the sight of so many animals.

"Welcome to Cuddly Cuties, where we give our furry friends a home," A tall man with a fury lion-themed jacket said with a pained expression.

"Um...hello, we're just browsing today...come along Lulu," The nervous mom eyed the man and his barely concealed chest suspiciously. She was dragging her daughter into another aisle when Lulu spoke up in an obnoxious vice.

"Your accent is stupid," She stated matter-of-factly.

"I'm so sorry Mr..." Her mom trailed off.

"Kraven the hunter. And has it occurred to you little girl, that maybe you're the one with a stupid accent?"

"Excuse me but I want to see your boss, you can't just talk like-" Lulu cut her mom off.

"It's fine mommy, Mr. Mustache doesn't have anything better to do than insult little girls, Dolly thinks it's sad," Lulu smiled sweetly, gesturing to a doll she was carrying.

"How dare you insult Kraven! I have killed more animals than you can count, and what I hunt, I consume, and what I consume, I become!" He yelled.

"Maybe you should try consuming a salad before you leave your jacket open..." Lulu muttered.

"Enough! Come on Lulu, we're leaving!" The woman huffed before marching her daughter out of the pet store and away from Kraven, who practically had smoke coming out of his ears.

**Later...**

"How's the first day going partner?" A cheery looking blond man waltzed into the main pet store from a room in the back. He seemed to be the manager.

"I hate this job," Kraven responded_ enthusiastically_

"Well that's no good, you wanna know what makes my blues disappear faster than you can say furry friends?" The man had a thick Western accent.

"No," Kraven didn't even bother looking at the overly happy man.

"Saying our catchy slogan! Say it with me now!"

"Welcome to Cuddly Cuties where we give our furry friends a home," Kraven droned monotonously with his manager.

"Ahh. You know, nothing gives me quite the same joy as working here. I've worked here all my life. I didn't even want to be a pet store manager when I as young an all. Why I wanted to be a ballerina, imagine that! But my pa said to leave the tight-wearing to girls and find something else to be. So I came here, always loved animals. But sometimes I wonder what it'd be like to be a ballerina...show my pa that men can wear tights...achieve my dream..." The man stared off into the store aisles wistfully. Kraven was bashing his head against the nearest wall slowly and repetitively.

"Well good talk chum! Say what's your name again...Raven! That's it! A bit of an odd name but I'm not one to judge, anyway, see ya tomorrow pal!" The man walked out humming a lively tune.

"I AM KRAVEN THE HUNTER!" Kraven yelled at the empty building. He raised his fists and accidently knock over a parrot cage. The flimsy metal door opened, releasing a blue parrot into the room. Kraven felt something wet drop onto his shoulder and easily identified it by the smell.

"I hate you," He told the bird.

"Braaawwk! Stupid accent! Stupid accent!" The bird screeched as fellow parrots throughout the store took up its call.

"Wait till I find a deep fryer," Kraven grunted as he set out to find either a new cage or a baseball bat (whichever he found first), and thought about his resignation letter...and the brick he'd probably attach it to.

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><p><strong>Remember, my chapters may be on hold, but I'll still write everyone else's suggestions! Thanks to all my awesome reviewers...<strong>

**Wolf out...**


	8. Deadpool part I

**Ok, so this is going to be a two part chapter just cause. This is part 1 of my Dead Pool chapter, even though, I'm not exactly sure if he qualifies as a villain, or as a hero...marvel should have another category for him.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 8: <span>Joke's On You<span>**

"Helloooo! I'm doing a survey on how many people understand this joke," A teenager in a red and black costume asked a random slightly overweight middle-aged man.

"Are you from that one video game store?" The man asked.

"OOH! So close! I'm a freelance hero, specializing in all things money-related and AWESOME, also known as Dead Pool!"

"Ok...so what's the joke?"

"What joke?"

"The joke...for your survey..."

"I love surveys, so what's it about?" Dead Pool squealed.

"What? Is this a prank? Is this some sort of prank? Am I on TV?" The man looked around in annoyance.

"No of course not, it's a joke! For the survey! Did you get it?"

"Um..."

"Sorry, but you didn't qualify for the million jillion dollar reward! Bye Old Man!" Dead Pool cheerfully walked away.

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><p>"Who is that?" A little boy asked his parents, pointing to the black and red costume-clad Dead Pool.<p>

"OOH! Origin story time!" Dead Pool yelled. He began in a low, serious voice. "Once, a nerdy kid had a best friend. His friend was a balloon, named Balloony. The kid loved Baloony, until one day...the ninjas that stole his mama, popped Balloony. The balloon was full of radioactive chemicals, which splashed on the boy, transforming him into an awesome hero of awesomeness and MONEY!"

"Cool!" The little boy shouted.

"Yeah it is!" Dead Pool high-fived him.

"I wanna a balloon! I wanna balloon!" The kid grinned.

"Take it from me kid, quit school, make a cool costume with POUCHES, and go freelance like me!"

"Excuse me, but I don't appreciate you talking to our kid like that!" The kid's mom shook her head.

"Ssshh...quiet...rest your head, breathe deeply, savor the New Yorkian smells of gas and pollution. Don't think about how your mom thinks you could have done way better..." Dead Pool whispered, jerking a thumb toward her husband.

"What did you say! What did your mom say?" The lady's husband yelled.

"Well, you know how she is, she always wanted me to marry someone..."

"Better, more handsome, richer?" Dead Pool finished.

"Yes! Wait, no! Her words not mine!" The man huffed at his wife's reply, and they promptly began arguing.

"So, freelance huh?" The kid asked Dead Pool.

"Yeah, its my jam!"

"Awesome," The boy bumped fists with Dead Pool, and the "hero" was soon on his way.

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><p><strong>So that is part one of two Dead Pool parts. Because it is impossible to sum up Dead Pool in just one chapter, obviously. Thanks to Cheshire Kitty 101 for suggesting this. TheImmortalWeapon, hope your still being patient with me, I haven't forgotten the Scorpion request, and I think that may be my first story after the hold-period is over. Anyway...<strong>

**Wolf out...**


	9. Deadpool part II

**Part 2 of Deadpool! Thanks to IronFistRocks for the story suggestion!**

**Reviewers: **

**I****'m a Jesus Freak: Thanks for telling me. I fixed it this time. I can't imagine how many people I annoyed earlier! :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 9: <span>Spidey Wuvs Deadpool<span>**

"Happy Valentines day!" A poor passerby was suddenly tackled by a teen boy in a red and black costume. Deadpool wrapped the stranger in a bear hug.

"Get off me you creep!" The man grunted.

"I know you mean best friend!" Deadpool yelled. And he hopped off the man and walked away.

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><p>"Kevin!" Deadpool ran towards an old man sitting on a bus stop bench.<p>

"Eh? My name is Steve," The old guy, or Steve, said.

"That's what I said! Steve! I've missed you!" Deadpool squealed.

"What? Are you that pajama-wearing hooligan that Jameson is always shouting about?"

"You don't remember your long, long, long, long, long, LONG, lost cousin? How could you do this to me Steve?" Deadpool burst into tears for about eight seconds and then paused to watch Steve's reaction.

"No, of course I remember ya...um...Donny?"

"Oh I knew somewhere deep in your wrinkled soul you remembered!" Deadpool threw his arms around Steve's bony frame.

"Yeah...gee, um, it's been a while hasn't it? Are you sure we're related?" Deadpool nodded enthusiastically. "Hmm, I guess my old memory is not what it used to be. Either way, now that ya found me, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship. Hows about you come over. You like oatmeal?"

"Whoa...slow down, this is a bit fast. I don't like you like that Old Dude, I don't even know you!" Deadpool gasped.

"But-but you said," Steve's eyes widened.

"Wait, you actually think I'm your-that we're-ahahahah! Oh this is rich! Sayonara Kevin! Ow! My butt's burning!" Deadpool took off on his jetpack. A tear rolled down Steve's old face.

"Nooo! I'll find ya Donny! One day! I'll bring you back! For the OATMEAL!" Steve yelled up at the sky.

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><p>Peter Parker was patrolling when he heard a high-pitched scream. His spidey sense went off and he looked up just as Deadpool came freefalling down onto him.<p>

"Woops! Forgot to open up my parachute! Good thing you broke my fall Spiderman!" Deadpool laughed.

"Deadpool," Peter snarled.

"Yeah so if you see an old guy named Kevin screaming about oatmeal, it totally wasn't my fault," Deadpool said casually.

"What do you want Deadpool?"

"What? I can't SWING by my favorite fan? Get it, SWING? 'Cause you swing? Ahahaha, I unalive myself," Deadpool chuckled, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye.

"Yeah, really funny..." Peter deadpanned. "And I'm not your fan."

"Then why'd you copy my suit?" He wriggled his eyebrows under his mask.

"Deadpool what do you want?" Peter tried again.

"Well...I did want all of S.H.I.E.L.D's secrets...but I can always get those! What I really want is more precious!" Deeadpool brought a hand behind his back and Peter tensed...as the insane mercenary pulled out a t-shirt with his masked face on it. The shirt said, #SpideyWuvsDeadpool. 

"What the-" Peter cut off as Deadpool pulled the shirt onto him and slung an arm around him while pulling a phone out of nowhere.

"Selfie!" Deadpool sang as he took a picture of him and of Peter wearing his t-shirt.

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><p><strong>And that's the ending of Deadpool! I already have the suggestion for the next chapter, so that should be out some time tomorrow. (That's tomorrow as in the day AFTER the day this chapter is posted). Anyway...<strong>

**Wolf out...**


	10. Hard Love

**Thanks to Liv Lokigirl for giving me this idea! Sorry if anything seems ooc but I personally don't have an in-depth knowledge of the Thor story, so...tell me if I did something wrong.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 10: <span>But I love you!<span>**

"I hate you!"

"Well I hate you too!"

A teenage girl and boy were walking toward the school and arguing.

"Don't even talk to me!" The girl scoffed.

"Fine!" The boy yelled. "It's not like I even meant to get you in trouble..." He mumbled. The girl sniffed in disdain. Above them, the horned god of mischief lurked. Loki decided to mess with the teens, and as if on cue, Thor had to crash the party. Loki hadn't seen his brother yet, and he was just releasing his magic when Thor rose up to meet him. Loki's eyes widened as the magic beam struck his brother in the heart.

"Oomph!" Thor grunted as he was blown backwards slightly. The kids below saw the two Asgardians above them and decided that running would be a good idea at the moment. Loki was mentally screaming at himself for not noticing Thor's entry. Thor had regained his composure and was gazing at Loki like a lost puppy.

"Brother, have I ever told you how much I love you?" He asked in his loud voice, and Loki died a little inside. It had been a love spell, intended to make that boy fall in love with the first person he saw, which would have been the girl who obviously hated him. It had been meant to be funny!

"I am deeply sorry that I have not noticed this sooner. We shall pardon our differences and commence the books of scraps to commemorate every moment!" Thor yelled. Loki sighed and summoned his magic to counteract the spell. Thor ducked out of the way and pounced on Loki, hugging him until he was gasping for breath.

"I thought your greatest love was your hammer," Loki said sarcastically. Thor pulled away with a hurt look on his face.

"No, how could you say that? My hammer means nothing compared to our bond!" Thor held out his hammer and flew towards the Hudson, where he swung the mighty tool around and flung it into the murky river. Loki stared in awe.

"Did you-did you just-why didn't I try this before?" Loki whispered. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that web-slinging nuisance flipping through the city. Spiderman caught sight of them and began heading towards the Asgardians.

"Thor! See Spiderman over there?" Loki called to Thor. He nodded. "He wants to attack me!" Loki dramatically yelled.

"We must engage the man of spiders, as brothers!" Thor puffed out his chest when Loki grabbed him and started flying away.

"What is this, we are warriors!" Thor said in confusion.

"Yes, but we mustn't allow Spiderman to find us you numbskull!" Loki grunted.

"The names of nick! Numbskull! I like it! What shall I name you, Loki?" Thor squealed. **(Wow, never thought I'd see those two words together, ever!)**

"JUST, STOP, TALKING!" Eventually, Loki and Thor reached an abandoned shed on the docks. Loki sat Thor down on the floor and instructed him to be quiet.

"Now, I believe that you being of a higher position of power can compromise...our...lo-devotion for each other..." He stuttered uncomfortably.

"Brother, we can discuss business another time. Let us enjoy each other's company instead!" Thor grinned stupidly. He jumped up and wrapped Loki in another crushing hug.

"Get off me you oaf!"

"But I love you baby brother!"

"Help," Loki whimpered.

"I know you enjoy this Loki!"

"Aargh!" Loki sighed in barely suppressed anger.

"Coochi! Coochi! Coo! Who's a good baby brother? Who's a good baby brother? You are! You are!" Thor waggled a finger on Loki's helmet.

Outside, Spiderman was backing away from the window slowly and carefully. He could already imagine the therapy would need for this, as he just kept walking backward in horror. All the while he repeated in his mind, _j__ust keep walking spidey, just keep walking..._

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><p><strong>LOL! I like this one a lot! In Spiderman's defense, I would do the same thing if I witnessed...this. X3 Anyway...<strong>

**Wolf out...**


	11. Walmart Antics

**Thanks to star the star sorceress for the awesome idea! Also, after this story the hold period is officially over! But that doesn't mean that you can't give me suggestions, cause you can, and I love writing them! **

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Walmart!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 11:<span>Power Coffee!<span>**

Fury was strolling through the messy Walmart aisles when he saw it. Sitting on a shelf in the camping department. With a golden halo of wonderfulness surrounding it and shining with perfection. Fury wiped away a tear as he heard glorious singing from a chorus of angels.

"Ya gonna tip me Eye patch? Fury absentmindedly handed a dollar to a plump lady with a Viking helmet who had been singing church songs for the past two minutes. Anyway, he continued gazing at the last box of **Power Coffee!** resting on a shelf. It was Fury's favorite coffee and he couldn't find it anywhere else in New York. He reached a hand toward it and grabbed the polished metal can...just as someone else grabbed it from the other side.

"Fury?" Fury looked over to see Doctor Doom.

"Doom? You drink Power Coffee too?" Fury asked.

"I do, and it is an insult to steal Doom's coffee!" Doctor Doom snatched back the can. He and Fury both drew their laser guns.

"Ain't enough shelf space for more than one coffee in this Walmart..." Fury said. A stray rumpled shopping bag drifted between the two.

"Nope..." Doctor Doom sighed. Someone started playing a harmonica, and the clock struck noon.

"Clock just struck noon, Doom..." Fury shook his head. Doom nodded.

Doctor Doom and Fury pulled their triggers...each of them dived out of the way of the incoming...water?

"Ahahaha! Ahahahah!" A high pitched laugh from where the harmonica was being played revealed a familiar red and black-clad teenager.

"Deadpoooooooll!" Fury screamed.

"Nooooooooo!" Doctor Doom yelled at the same time. Fury's water stream hit the coffee can in Doom's arms...the can went up...higher and higher...finally gravity took affect...Fury and Doom threw their arms out and dived...the coffee fell...and landed perfectly between the two adults. They both sighed. Then watched as the coffee started floating. It wasn't really floating, but was being picked up. Fury and Doom looked up to see a huge dark man looking at the coffee can. He was about seven feet and all muscles. He had biceps on top of biceps, even his eyeballs practically had abs!

"Um, sir...I'm going to have to ask you to drop that, since I was about to purchase it..." Fury trailed off.

"Actually I was purchasing it," Doom added. Deadpool was smirking behind his mask as he watched the body builder he had hired do his work.

"Power Coffee? I HATE POWER COFFEE!" The muscleman crushed the can in one massive fist bigger than Fury's head and watched the grains fall to the floor.

"Nooo! Baby speak to me! Baby please! We can get through this!" Fury dropped to his knees and held the crushed grains of coffee in his palms. Doom knelt beside him and patted his back, his armor muffling his sniffles.

"Come now Fury, be strong...the coffee would have wanted it this way..." Doom whimpered softly as he and Fury (still babbling to the coffee grains) walked out of Walmart.

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><p><strong>Thanks again for the idea and the next chapter will feature Scorpion! Anyway...<strong>

**Wolf out...**


	12. Shut Up Danny

**Weekend! Weekend! And that means all my stories have been or will be (depending on when you read this) updated! Yay! As promised, this is for Scorpion, and my first story after the hold period. Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 12: <span>Exile With A Phone<span>**

Scorpion had just been defeated by Danny and was sitting in a small, empty chamber. The white walls were peeling and the stone floor on which he slept was hard and cold. So this was exile. No matter, if there was one thing Scorpion was good at, other than fighting, it was stealing. The one who called himself Spiderman had had a small rectangular contraption in his boot. Scorpion had heard of these items common in the outside world, cellphones. It only had a little bit of battery power left, but on this mountain, it had full bars of Wi-Fi. Scorpion figured he only had a few hours of use, but now would be as good a time as ever. He turned it on and his eyes widened. He went to the text message screen and grinned. This would be a very fun few hours.

**Hey Agent Coulson, **Scorpion typed. He had managed to get into past text messages, where Spiderman angrily outlined an agent's love for his aunt, to the rest of the outside team, and Danny. **Aunt May wanted me to tell u, **Apparently Siderman did not use full words when using his cellphone. Scorpion didn't understand why, but he needed to sound authentic. **that she loves you more than life, **He thought a while, **and that she would ground me if I didn't send this message immediately. **Scorpion nodded, pleased with his work, and hit send.

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><p>Agentprincipal Coulson was sitting at his school office when his phone beeped. He read the text from Peter, and sighed in bliss.

"Coulson you've still got it," He licked two fingers and ran them over his eyebrows. He wondered why May hadn't texted him from her own phone, but maybe she misplaced it and couldn't wait until she found it to express her love for him. That was probably right, but he couldn't send his reply to Peter's phone. The boy was not adjusting well to their relationship. Oh well, he would send it to May's phone and hope she saw it eventually.

**Mayflower, you are as much a part of my life, as my collection of ties. I love you too.**

**signed, Phil-berry**

He sighed again as he shuddered from joy. This relationship was more exciting than organizing his filing cabinets (and to Coulson, that was a lot!).

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><p>Meanwhile, Scorpion was typing away a new message, this one addressed to Fury. <strong>Bro, u r like totally an eye-patch-wearing-angry-cape-swoosher-that-insists-that-this-ain't-your-first-rodeo and a JERK! wuv, Spiderman X3 <strong>He reread it, then clicked Send.

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><p>Peter was lounging on his couch when Aunt May's phone beeped. Curiosity taking the better of him, he grabbed the phone and read the message. Peter nearly fell off the couch. He took a deep breath, and then another one. He typed, forgetting that he was using his aunt's phone. <strong>Dude really? Seriously? If u gonna compliment, at least do it well! <strong>He sent it and rolled his eyes in annoyance, not entirely aware of what he'd just done.

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><p>Coulson lunged at his phone as soon as it beeped. His eyes widened as he read. Why would May write that?<p>

"Coulson!" Fury stormed in.

"Yes Fury?"

"Where is that irresponsible ignorant kid!"

"Which one?" Coulson deadpanned.

"Parker!" Fury growled.

"Web-head!" Sam flew into the office clutching his phone.

"When I get my claws on him-" Ava snarled as she came into the room.

"Not cool. Not cool," Luke walked in with Danny.

"What are you all doing here?" Fury looked at the teens, interrupted from his rant.

"Arach-nerd spammed my phone with pictures of albino rabbits! And he sent a voicemail...with bunny sounds! Who does that!" Sam fumed.

"Get over yourself bucket-head. Web-head texted me that I'm obsessed with romance novels but I'm not even a real girl!" Ava screamed.

"You read romance novels?" Sam laughed.

"NOT THE POINT SAM!" She said through her teeth.

"If I may interrupt-" Danny's voice was lost in the chaos.

"He told me I should join a gym! Pete called _me _fat! Does he know me!" Luke ranted.

"Actually I have reason to believe-" Danny tried again.

"The kid called me an eye-patch wearing jerk! I am his superior! I could have him kicked off my ship faster than he can send another stupid text! This ain't my first rodeo!" Fury yelled.

"Well-" Danny was desperately trying to get everyone's attention.

"And I'm starting to think that he rejected my love note to May!" Coulson joined in. The room got quiet. "What?" Coulson asked. Danny seized the chance.

"I don't believe that Peter is the one doing this."

"What did he send you?" Ava asked accusingly.

"Nothing actually, but-"

"Then BUT OUT!" Sam yelled.

"Patience is a-"

"SHUT UP DANNY!" Everyone screamed at him, and then resumed their crazed rambling. Danny blushed and stepped outside the office.

"Well-played Scorpion. Well-played," He grinned.

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><p><strong>Yup, I know it took a while, but here it is! Scorpion's chapter. I wouldn't want to be Peter right about now! And seriously, I just don't understand why Sam and Pete take their phones on missions. But I'm not complaining! Hope you guys enjoyed, please review, and...<strong>

**Wolf out...**


	13. J Gerald Jameson?

**This is set back when Norman Osborn was still human, but he still counts as a villain. I went back and read through this story and face-palmed so many times at the number of mistakes. PLEASE! If a chapter has even the tiniest error, tell me! I will fix it! R&R and enjoy! Also, I think I might officially update this every Saturday. Probably. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 13:<span> Of Romance and Chicken Soup<span>**

Norman Osborn was walking through a pharmacy. He had contracted quite a cold and was looking for something to help his symptoms. Slightly annoyed, he walked to the register and asked the lady what he should buy.

"Nothin" The lady said.

"Excuse me?" Norman asked.

"Honey all you need is some old fashioned chicken soup!" The lady was old, maybe 70 or 80, but her tone was warm yet commanding at the same time. She was the type of lady that you would see baking chocolate chip cookies one minute, and hitting someone upside the head with her purse the next minute.

"Right. I'll just take Tylenol," Norman said dryly.

"Hmph!" The lady huffed. "You kids these days! All your fancy medicinal drugs and pills. I'm tellin' you baby, all you need is chicken soup."

"I'll have you know that I'm a grown man."

"Wait a minute, I know you! Uh-huh, yup, you're famous!"

"Well, perhaps not famous, but well-respected. Now, as owner of a multi-billion dollar company, I'm sure it's obvious that I can take care of myself well enou-"

"Company? Oh no baby, no no no no no! You're that ugly guy that rants about Spiderman on that big television machine!" The lady nodded.

"Jameson?"

"Yeah! J. Gerald. Jameson, or something like that."

"How could you even assume that! Gerald doesn't even start with a J!"

"Either way, I think you look great without your bushy mustache! Purrrr," The lady did a "kitty claws" gesture.

"Um-um-um..." Norman felt his face get hot.

"How about I make you some nice," The lady got closer, "Hot," She cupped Norman's face in her bony hands, "Chicken soup."

"NO! Er, I mean, I'm quite sure that I can brave this trivial illness, alone," Norman staggered out of her grasp, knocking over a shelf full of medicine bottles, which all crashed to the floor.

"Aw, you are just so _cute_!" She pinched his cheek.

"Tha-thank you, ma'am," Norman flinched, his voice becoming more high-pitched.

"I love a man who can dance! Do you know how to dance Jameson?"

"Actually my name is Norman Os-WHOA!" Norman was suddenly being swung in dizzying circles by his arm. He came to a stop pressed against the lady's body.

"Help!" He squeaked.

"You sure do need help honey, in a dance lesson!" She sang as she swayed her hips side to side and clapped her hands and stomped her feet. Norman tried backing away and was only pulled into another spin.

"Sprinkler!" The lady shouted as she rotated an outstretched arm in a jerking motion, hitting Norman in the nose in the process.

"You little-"

"Sh! Don't speak, you'll ruin the moment," She sighed.

"Ok lady, put Osborn down!" Two police officers stormed into the pharmacy.

"I love parties!" The lady laughed giddily. She used her free arm to grab both police officer's hands. As the threesome danced, the lady cackled, Norman prayed for his life, and the police officers tried to decide whether this was more fun than patrolling streets. Eventually, the old lady tired herself out and Norman escaped, but it would be years before he could enjoy another bowl of chicken soup.

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><p><strong>This was inspired by an AsapSCIENCE video about homemade remedies that actually work, one of which being-you guessed it-chicken soup. Hope you guys enjoyed and as always, feel free to give me suggestions for future stories, or even just villain requests. Anyway...<strong>

**Wolf out...**


	14. The World's Most Evil Mastermind

**Hey guys! This is my chapter but I will use a few ideas. Star the Star Sorceress, I like your babysitting thing and it's funny because I was already planning on doing that! Great minds think alike :D. Neyite, I'm not sure if I can pull Scorpio off, since his story seems kind of sad and I don't know if I want to make fun of him. I will try though, because I might have an idea. Anyway, this chapter is AU, since I going to pretend that Sandman lives in New York, in an actual home, instead of at S.H.I.E.L.D. **

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing**

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><p><strong>Chapter 14: <span>Dang Cookies<span>**

Sandman had fallen asleep in his easy chair when an obnoxious knocking woke him up. He sluggishly opened the door.

"Girl scout cookies!" A little girl with brown pigtails, freckles and green eyes was standing in the hallway of the apartment building with a big smile plastered on her face.

"Oh, no thank you-"Sandman started.

"No thank you? Really! I slave over a hot stove all day making these freaking cookies and you say NO THANK YOU!" The girl put her hands on her hips.

"Look little girl, I know that you didn't make those-"

"No, you look, my troop leader says that whoever sells the most cookies, gets a Princess Prettypink bike! You know what that means don't ya bub! It means that as the biggest Princess Prettypink fan IN THE WORLD, I NEED THAT FLIPPING BIKE!" She yelled in a high pitched voice.

"How about I just buy you the bike tomorrow, just let me sleep tonight and-"

"Are you suggesting that I cheat! That isn't the girl scout way. Now hurry up and buy some dang cookies, and get a new wardrobe while you're at it," She snapped sassily. Sandman looked at his striped green and white t-shirt.

"What's wrong with my outfit?"

"Um, nothing...if you were a toddler! My mother says that grown men should wear suits and designer sweaters, otherwise they're no good."

"Your _mother_? Don't little brats like you have _mommies_?" Sandman growled. He was getting mad, this wasn't good.

"How old do you think I am Gramps? I'll have you know that I'm already this many," She held up eight fingers, "And I'm not getting any younger, so hand over the bills and I'll give you a box of cookies!"

"I DON'T WANT YOUR COOKIES!"

"YES YOU DO!"

"GET AWAY FROM MY HOUSE OR I'LL FILE A RESRAINING ORDER!" Sandman could feel his feet starting to mush into fine grains.

"Restraining orders didn't stop Mother and they won't stop me!" The girl walked into Sandman's apartment, found his wallet on the table, and started counting out the money.

"Four...five...six-"

"Listen little girl, your parents must be crazy to put up with you, but I'm not that crazy! You are going to get outta my house, walk out of this building, and-" Sandman said a few colorful words that made the little girl stop dead.

"What did you say to me?" She snarled.

"Uh..." Sandman was debating his moral code.

"Real mature, and you made me lose my place! Now, I gotta start over! One...two...three..." She huffed.

"Uh..." Sandman wondered if he should have watched more crime shows, especially the ones from the criminal point of views.

"Ten! There! Here is you stupid box of cookies!" The girl screamed.

"Uh..." Then he wondered how far away Mexico was. The girl handed him a box of butterscotch cookies and started walking out. Sandman snapped to attention.

"HEY! YOU JUST ROBBED ME YOU PHSYCOTIC LITTLE BRAT!" He grew taller and sandier.

"You're a genius," The girl muttered sarcastically. She turned around to glare at him and screamed.

"EWEWEWEWEWEWEEEEEEEEWWWW!" She ran, still holding the rest of her cookies plus the money. As she ran she came across a teenager in a red and blue suit.

"Spiderman?" She asked.

"In the flesh, hey you haven't seen a walking sand castle have you?"

"Cute, now if only your saving was as good as your jokes!" She yelled. Spiderman scratched his head.

"Who needs saving?"

"ME!"

"Right! I knew that!" Just then Sandman came roaring into the corridor.

"SPIDERMAN! THAT LITTLE DEMON JUST ROBBED ME!" Spidey looked at the cute little "demon."

"Aaaahhhh! Spiderman that big scary and stupid monster has been chasing me all night! I walked to his house because I heard that he was unstable and I felt so sorry for him that I was going to give him this money and some free cookies! But he turned into that and tried to eat me! You won't let him eat me will you! You're too strong and brave to let him eat me!" She wailed.

"Look Sandy, she's just a kid! You can't go around scaring kids! It's ok now little girl, and you can keep the money, he doesn't deserve it," Spiderman declared. The girl blushed and smiled.

"That's exactly what I was thinking!" And she sashayed away calmly.

"Well Sandy, what do you have to say for yourself?" Spidey asked.

"I only hope that that little witch never decides to become a villain, otherwise we'll all be doomed," He shuddered, thinking of a little girl laughing maniacally on a throne overlooking fields of burning cities as unicorns enslaved humans.

"Definitely doomed."

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><p><strong>Yeah so thanks for reading and stuff. All the people who have reviewed, you guys are AWESOME! Seriously though, this is my most popular story and I've always wanted to get to 50 reviews, and now it seems like it's actually possible! Yay! So anyway...<strong>

**Wolf out...**


	15. Are We There Yet

**Sorry if it seems a little late! Anyway, Star and Neyite, I sort of blended your ideas together! I'm actually really happy with the way this turned out so I hope you guys like it! Also, NinjaGeek, I love your idea and I will totally use it either next chapter or the one after that! **

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything you recognize nor U.S.M**

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><p><strong>Chapter 15: <span>Pink Fluffy Nyan Cats<span>**

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"OK...are we there yet?"

"Not yet."

"Oh...how about now? Are we there now?"

"NO!" Scorpio was in a minivan with four or five toddlers(Scorpio hadn't bothered to count). He was dropping them off to a very special person. He looked back at the kids. One had slightly long back hair and green eyes. He was in a golden car seat decorated with horns. Another one was wrapped in a gray cloak and didn't want to show his face, he was in a black car seat. One boy with long greasy black hair and yellow-tinted glasses was playing with a screwdriver. Scorpio was quite proud of himself for thinking to give that kid a screwdriver. Whenever it was in his chubby little hands, he was quiet. He was in a gray car seat. The last one was a girl. She had green eyes, shoulder-length red hair, and was wearing a golden crown. She was in a red car seat. The green eyed boy was the most annoying one, especially with his British accent.

"This is boring! Are we there NOOOOWWW?" He yelled.

"Do you want me to turn this car around?" Scorpio screamed at him. HONK! HONK! A huge 18-wheeler was coming down the highway and apparently, Scorpio had swerved into the wrong lane. He jerked the wheel to the right and spun just out of the way of the truck, slamming into the railing. He hit the breaks so hard that they screeched and Scorpion smelt the burnt rubber. He gasped. Then he reached over into the back seat and grabbed the Brit by his neck.

"License and identification and...sir? What are you doing? Are these your kids?" A police officer was pounding on the window, interrupting Scorpio trying to strangle the toddler. Scorpio put his hands in his lap and put on a cheesy grin, which was difficult with his costume/amour. He handed the officer what he hoped looked like a genuine ID card.

"Bob Ferris?" The officer read, with more than a hint of doubt.

"Yup!"

"Right..."

"Well, if that's settled, I have to drop off the kids..."

"All of them? Are they yours?"

"Um...not really..."

"Not really!"

"Well they don't really have parents that I know of..."

"What!"

"No, no, they're actually really old, especially the British one. I can't even imagine how old he is!"

"I'm going to need you to step out of the car _sir_..."

"Why?" Scorpio moaned.

"Do you even know what they're names are?"

"Yeah. The girl's name is Tundra-No! Wait! Thundra! And the kid playing with the screwdriver is-"

"SCREWDRIVER!"

"His name is Doctor Squid, or was it octopus? Yeah, Doctor Squid! And um, the cloaked kid is Tazzmaster, and the Brit is er...Lachy? Locky? Lochi!"

"Thundra? Doctor Squid? Tazzmaster and Lochi? Really?"

"yeah!"

"And is the screwdriver fake or..."

"Of course not! 100 percent real! Only the best for my little toddlers!"

"WHAT! YOU GAVE A KID A REAL SCREWDRIVER!"

"So?"

"ARE YOU AWARE THAT HE IS EATING IT?" Scorpio looked to see Doctor Squid stuffing the pointy end in his throat and giggling.

"He's loving it!"

"Yeah, you're going to need to answer a few questions at the station."

"Ok fine, but first, I'd like to say something I've always wanted to say..."

"And that would be..."

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE COPPAH!" Scorpio hit the gas and screeched his way off the highway away from the overly nosy cop. Soon, he was right below the S.H.I.E.L.D tricarrier. He picked up the kids and stuffed them into a holey duffel bag. Then he casually contacted Fury (in a disguised voice) saying he had a delivery. After a moment, Fury landed the air craft and found nothing but a wriggling duffel bag. He carefully unzipped it and a green eyed little boy flew out and into the tricarrier.

"Catch me if you can Snot Rags!" He shouted to the rest of the kids, who were following him into the carrier. Fury sighed at the de-aged villains and walked back inside. Inside, the toddlers were bouncing around. Little Loki was turning the walls into rainbow colored kittens. Doc Ock was hacking into the computers and filling the screens with games of Flappy Bird. Thundra was very happily smashing things while Taskmaster cackled creepily as he planted miniature flash bombs around the tricarrier. One went off, creating a domino effect that made Taskmaster giggle. Fury face-palmed so hard that it left a mark. He sneezed, glaring at the huge Nyan Cat that had just appeared.

"I'm allergic to cats and pop tarts, and what does that little runt give me? A pop tart cat!" Fury sighed, then sneezed again. He decided that the kids would eventually fall asleep so he just walked away. He glanced back in time to see Nyan Cat and a pink fluffy unicorn singing together.

Fury clutched his head and began muttering to himself.

"Pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows, pink fluffy unicorns-mew meow meow meow meow-on rainbows! Mew meow mew meow!" He wandered through the hallways, singing. Coulson looked at him.

"Are you alright sir?"

"Nyan Cats and pink fluffy unicorns...everywhere!" Fury moaned as he kept on walking.

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><p><strong>By the way, I did not mean to offend any British people, love you guys! I actually love the accent and every person I meet tells me I have a strong British accent even though I have never been to the UK. But yeah, anyway this is a slightly longer chapter than normal and I hope you all enjoyed it! If you don't get the fluffy unicorn reference, go to YouTube or Google and type in PINK FLUFFY UNICORNS DANCING ON RAINBOWS! It is very cute and very annoying! Yay! Anyway...<strong>

**Wolf out...**


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